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Assalamualaikum and hello, o awesome readers!

I guess I'm pretty cool person because everything is strange. Life. People. And yeah, I don't know what planet I'm on. 

Anyway, thanks for all your support.

Monday, October 30, 2017

Silver car


I actually donno what i'm gonna to do with my own car.

Then, why i bought it?

It because my older sisters said... You must have a car.
I just, oh ok.
Keluarkan my money, give it to my ayah.
I said, beli myvi satu. I want the silver color.
And when it's ready...
I dapat one day mc off, go back to Johor dalam demam-demam.
Signed those papers. And i asked them to sent the car to my parents house. And that evening balik semula ke KL.
So, there you go.
I give you my car.
What's next?

Not in my life, i think nak beli a car.
Because i have my motorcycle.
Senang dan mudah.
Which I'm happy with it.

So, i just put it at my parents house.
Under care of my parents, i just paid monthly. And any services needed.
Which they can used it to visit grandchildren or to mall, hospital appointment. Etc. Etc.
Like a bad mother am i,sebab tinggalkan my baby under atok nenek dia. Dan bayar bulan-bulan tanpa ada rasa nak menjenggah or what.

Then, my brother used it until he got his own car. Some scratched at the end, with no explanation given.
Which I nak marah pon tak rasa nak marah.
Sebab I donno how to marah orang.
And it's end there.

Now, my younger sister used it everyday.
Even she had her own car.
She said my car more convinced than her nissan.
My mirror cracked bit.
By batu-batu kecil di jalanan.
My number plat tertanggal.
Luckily she repaired sikit.

Which i don't even care, or have any bad feeling to it.
As long as i seen my car still a car.
Easy peasy mac 'n cheesy.
A car still a car.
And it's mine.

Pahala berpanjangan tuh sebab daripada tak digunakan.
At least why not bagi pada orang yang memerlukan, kan?

So, hold on baby. Just be happy wherever you are.
= )

Friday, October 27, 2017

Rm 2


In my department. Ada orang jual roti.
Macam-macam jenis roti perisa best ada.
Dia jual satu Rm 1.50.
Murah rezeki tak ambil banyak untung.
And i sometimes beli.
Sometimes tak.
Bila lapar betul baru nampak benda alah ni.
Sebab lagi suka telan roti dengan peanut butter. Don't blame me, yo.

One day.
Ada ambil dia punya roti, sampai lupa nak bayar. Lama gila kot.
But i still remember it.
Sebab asal jumpa mesti tak ada duit on hands.
Or duit selit-selit celah ID ker.
Memang tak ada.

Then, geram sangat. I just paid by my friend punya duit.
Dah dia tadah wallet tengah-tengah meja makan.
Tarik lah Rm 2.00.
Nanti bagi balik la kan. Dia pon ok je.
At least, hutang dah langsai.
With him, settle belakang kira.

Tadi. I give his money back.
Pelik betul.
Dia bagi balik.
I said, i will just letak atas meja tuh.
He still don't want it.
I said i will put in his bag. Or boxes. Up to him nak ambil or not.
Dia sound, dia akan keluarkan. Takkan ambil. The money will stay there.
Like our previous incident.
Our previous incident.

Boleh dia just tinggalkan my money camtu jer. Banyak kali dah happened.
Bipolar betul.
Apa salahnya kalau taknak gi la masuk tabung masjid.
Yeah walaupun dua henggit, boleh beli icecream vanilla dalam cup.
Beli gula-gula mentos kaler-kaler tuh.
Beli roti.
Belilah apa yang patut, kan.

... I said why? Ambil jela.
He said no.
He can't took it.
... Yeah, but why?
Still no.
... Memang ada jugak kena ketuk kang.
... Tak nak ambil, ok. But why?
Dah jadi darah daging.
And his some audible sound yang tak dengar.

... What the man la kan. Apa dosanya? Serious tak paham.
Memang sure nak kena ketuk dengan pan dua ratus kali dia nih.

I just let it go.
But tomorrow, i try to ask again.
Kenapa dosa?
Hingat my money haram kromkromkrom ker.
Pening ar.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Tiada balas


(Feeling-feeling jap pagi nih)

Aku pandang langit.
Awan melihatku kecil.
Burung melarikan diri,
Aku tarik nafas panjang.
Aku hembus ke udara.

Bukan mudah untuk hidup.
Berdiam aku mengguis tanah.
Sampai bila aku akan begini?
Suram tiada balas.
Ku letak tangan di dada kiri.
Ia masih bernyawa.

Bukan mudah untuk hidup.
Membilang aku akan kebaikan yang ditabur.
Dan keikhlasan ditapis jernih.
Hanya tinggal apa?
Cukup kah bekalan akhirku?

Bukan mudah untuk hidup.
Aku bukan malaikat.
Mulia setiap saat.
Aku hanya manusia.
Penuh dosa tercatat.

Kerana sesungguhnya, bukan mudah untuk hidup.
Dan terus hidup.
And I'm still alive!

Hasil carian imej untuk weheartit tree

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Seriously ganas


Yesterday i broke a tissue compartment at my department.
Yeah, well...
My fault. I admit it duh.
Then, that's one my sort of keganasan.
I donno.

I tried to be like a normal girl.
With nothing dramatic in the end.
But yeah, tidak semuanya berjalan dengan lancar ya.
I will sometimes punch there. Hit there.
And langgar semua benda.
That's why esoknya bruised sana sini.

Clumsy. Can called so.
But is it?

When my friends invite to join takewando... spelling dia betul ke?
Or boxing or silat ke apa.
I just say no. And a big no.
Because if I joined it.
I will be more ganas. More unpredictable than what you expect.
Tak mau lah.

Jadik ayu-ayu. Alim-alim. Tapi sikit ganas cukup lah.

Monday, October 16, 2017

Only the flavor make 'em delicious


Now, my fav session is a dessert time!
Where i prefer a simple chocolate cake with super melting grenache chocolate on top.

I donno, it's like some addiction duh.
Where i must go to that shop at least once a week... minimum?
To get my stock.
Baik punya barang.
Seludup tepi.

Not good actually.
Benda manis-manis nih but only the flavor make 'em delicious.
I can't say no to it.
It's not fair.
Can't fight against it.

White flag.
I need that for my top stress theraphy.

.... Dulu time banyak masa, rajin gak la masak sendiri.
Buat kek, cupcake.
Decorate like sort of doorgift tuh.
Bagi bebudak rumah, tempat kerja semua makan.
But now, no time for all this.
Rasa macam busy kalah menteri.

How i missed my old me.

But i hope i can have a time to do that again.
Make some cookies at least.
Yeah. i still have that oats!
My friend wants me to finished it.
Let's see when ya.

Rezeki bagi-bagi...
Betul tak?

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Aquaria KLCC


Alhamdulillah. After bertahun merantau and stay quiet long at KL.
This is my first time here at Aquaria KLCC!
So much fun and excitement.

I go there by public transport.
Just stop at KLCC station...
And walk into KLCC mall, and turn left if you see the elevator. Near the reception counter there. Can asked for confirmation.
They will said , brief walk until you see the Maybank
And you will found one colorful tunnel with small signboard to Aquaria. Go in there.
Then turn left and will have some restaurant.
From here you can see the Aquaria.
But just some walk to their main entrance at right side.
Then you have reach your destination.

Thanks to some of my friends membalas my mesej regarding nak pergi ke sini.
Hanya mengambil masa 10 minutes walk duh.
Not 10km like someone said!
So ngok ngek betul.
Whatever it is. I'm here okey.

With Matta fair ticket.
And only me and myself.
I decided to join all the school tour group. It's like six or seven among them.
Banyak gila ar kan bebudak rombongan sekolah nih.
To cheer up my mood.

I touch the fish.
The baby shark.
I seen lots of species and i curhat my isi hati to them.
How lovely there are so freely and happily with their family and friends.
Tetiba jeles pulak.

And how big the turtles are.
Lots of ikan pari.
Cutenya dia punya obor-obor.
Ad some terhanguk-hanguk of seahorses or ada gak ynag terlebih hyperactive.
Kelakar betul.

My rombongan sekolah pon dah balik but i still menikmati my own time.
I stay a bit for their feeding time.
Joined group sekolah yang lain pulak.
Yet i make myself two round masuk dalam terowong tuh.
Nak repeat banyak kali pon diorang tak kisah pon. Diorang banyak kerja lain nak buat.

And see how they clean up the Aquaria.
Overall all staff over there are so friendly.
Included the divers.
Thanks all.

After that, bought some grocerries.
And directly go home because i'm so tired.
It's three pm and i have no luch yet.

So, no KLCC park.
I need some rest and foods!


Friday, October 13, 2017



Baru-baru nih my sister shared cerita tentang the kids.
Which they start to ask about their father.
Arwah ayah mereka.
Which i still donno how to react to it.
But to me, how hurt it is... mereka harus face to it.
That's the reality.

Kids and school...
And when muncul soalan-soalan begini.
How many times you repeat.
They still akan muncul dengan soalan dengan based sama.
And you kuatkan hati..
Jawab everything.
They have a right to know.

Looks like to kejam.
To rush.
But until when?
All of this must be a seret?
They are growing up!

Exposed or not.
Just support, give that big hug and cuddle.
They need it after all of this.

I know my niece and nephew are strong than ultraman.
Apiz fav superhero.
Because their aunty will always be by their side.
Not at their back.

And i hope their teachers not stupid enough to ask them those question.
Which yang terjadi pada Si Ziqa.
Why la you don't have those common sense.
Can't believe it.
Your simpati tak kena tempat lah.
My sister and i can help you merungkai semua persoalan. Deal with it.
Just set the date.

Please. Respect their future untuk berdepan dengan soalan macam nih.

Semoga Allah sentisa merahmati mereka sekeluarga.
Al Fatihah untuk arwah juga.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Phone baru?


Dalam banyak-banyak benda, ramai orang suka tegur pasal my phone. Nazak dah benor mereka cakap.
Oh my baby asus.
Zenfon apa tak ingat...
My super tough communication technology.
My one and only.
Even ianya tertinggal mana-mana pon tak akan adanya orang nak curik.
Sebab hodoh benar dah ghupanya.
Dengan kecai barai retak beribu. Hang sikit. Quota sim pon penuh.
Tapi i still setia dengannya.
Forever and tak tahu sampai bila.

Ada yang sanggup nak sponsor tukar screen. Tukar nih, tukar tuh.
Tapi tolak cara baik. Tak apa...
One day i will tukar it.
Don't worry hokey.

How about next year. Yeah?
I only can change it next year.
Sebab apa?
Kenapa mesti next year?
Sibuk lak aih nak tahu.

Tak pon tunggu la ada orang belikan.
Co chuweeet...
Lempang nak?

Ok. So please don't tanya-tanya lagi pasal my new phone.
Lagi-lagi depan this old baby asus.
Dia sensitip tahu.
Nanti dia majuk. Hang pastu.
Dah kena pujuk.

= )

Monday, October 09, 2017



I got one ODO from my hospital for Orchid Run Medical Volunteer masa tuh.
So, kena gunakan bulan nih gak.
Pastu i just soh diorang arrange kan bila cutinya sebab tak boleh decide.
Ramai cuti duh.
Sambung menyambung gitu.

And my ODO jatuh pada this Wednesday.
Which i donno where i wanna to go.
Rest at home or may some fun place?
Yeah after penat kerja.

My plan, i wanna go to Aquaria KLCC!
Dekat dan i got free ticket for it masa Matta Fair.
Why not gunakan masa ni kan.
Memandangkan expirednya hujung tahun nih.
Good idea.

I donno if I'm nih anti-social ke apa.
Sebab usually orang akan hang out with their friends untuk spent time. Huha-huha ke apa.
But me,
Just why not hang out with those animals?
I love them more than all of my friends.
Because they have less drama nya.

Alright, nampak macam that morning i have lots to prepare.
Pakai beg belakang jelah. So,
My bread dengan peanut butter.
My chocolate bar.
Water bottle besar sikit.
And comfortable cloths. Shoes too.
Sebab i will spent my time overall kat situ.

And one more thing.
Why not lepak kejap kat KLCC Park.
Tengok pokok jap.
Kira berapa daun tinggal.

Sebab nak gih pantai? Huh. Jauh.

My camera also.
Kalau sempat i will update kat mana-mana how my days goes okay.
Yelah tuh punya promise.
Tak janji senang cakap.

Saturday, October 07, 2017

Kerja. Kerja. And sambung kerja.


Curhat jap ar.
Sebab kerja.
And sambung kerja.

Three days berturut-turut memang kerah tenaga sehabis baik.
Rasa memang macam kuli betul.
Sangat kulinya.
Serious okey.
Tak lah cakap berkira bab-bab kerja ini.
But i think it's a bit too much?
Please. Don't you think so?

Let's start my day dengan five hours surgery non stop. 
Boleh tahan lagi.
Pastu solat jap before makan tengahri. Habis sebungkus nasi goreng kawan beli. Memang lapar tahap dinosaurus!
Nih tak bayar lagi, kena tulis dalam buku kira-kira nih.
Then, sambung four and half hours surgery...
Tengok-tengok hari pon dah gelap.

Suruh pulak kena checked bill.
Nak kejar shuttle lagi...
Redha jela.

Esoknya, sambung penat lagi.
Kes orthopedic banyak nak kena settle,
Solat Zohor, makan nasi goreng half.
Scrub in dengan back to back case.
Fuh, sampai malam.
Solat jangan cakap, dah dua skip.
Maaf ya Allah.
Tengok pulak baki nasi goreng tengahri tadi, tak lalu.
Bill report esok kira, tak larat.

Balik malam tuh memang bawak motor pon terhuyung-hayang.
Lori kereta semua nampak cam semut jer.
Sebab nak sampai rumah punya pasal.
Badan rasa memang nak tertanggal dah tulang-tulang semua.

Balik nak tidur, tak boleh tidur...
Paksa pejam mata.
Paksa jugak.
Alhamdulillah, dapatlah tiga empat jam.

Pagi tuh, nasib dapat assingment kat case yang free bit.
Settle kes semalam. Screw lah, tulah, email lah.
Pastu landing kepala. Tidur jap. Meja tu keras cam batu pon asal boleh lah, syukur.
Tengah-tengah syok tidur, akak sebelah kejut.
Team lain panggil soh scrub in.

Memang rasa nak bantah.
Nak memberontak.
Siap persoalkan lagi pada leader situ, why not dia yang scrub in?
Why me?
Why not give it to someone in that team? 
Why not orang lain yang more super pandai?

Tapi dia diam.
And i get it.

So, i said give me three minutes.
I go to toilet jap. 
Basuh muka. Buang sikap malas.
And pastu scrub jelah.

Siap scrub, everyone asked me about that case.
The same question i sendiri wonder why.
I just let it go...
Then, I get my bread with peanut butter and grapes jem for lunch. 
Sebab i need to continue with my next case.

My collaegue, kakak yang sama team with me for tiga hari berturut-turut tu pon hulur rasa simpati.
Bila i kena teruk daripada dia.
Dia cakap i lagi tough than her.
Sebab dia dah menitik air mata time scrub malam tuh. Without i know.
Bukan sebab kena marah dengan surgeon.
Tapi sebab penat.
Pity her.
Stay strong kak!

So, that's how my week goes.
I'm super tired.
And please don't questioning me why my mood swing kengkadang.
Or why i can sleep anytime, anywhere...
Sebab i do.
And please give me a small space. To breath.
If you wanna me help you too.

Nothing nak gaduh actually. I don't mind. I ambil hanya the positive side.
Ada hikmahnya.

My Orchid Run Medical Volunteer 2017 masa tuh. #falck team. #orchidrunpetronas #falckambulancemalaysia

Friday, October 06, 2017

Friday up


It's friday. And, I'm oncall.
But, tak borther sangat jika my lunch today adalah terbaik.
The awesome sangat.
Yang membuatkan i missed my emak punya masakan.
So, so and so much punya banyak rindunya.
Hamik ayat pon dah menggambarkan perasaan ini.

Ikan masak sambal.
Sayur lemak labu.
And my lovely nasik.

Tengah makan, my friend cakap.
Orang Johor kalau makan mesti nak berkuah kan?
I can deny it.
Sort of true facts!

My family memang camni.
If nothing yang berkuah.
Just standby with simple soup.
Kalau masakan tu tak nak kena complaint with my emaklah.

Oh, missed them so much.

FYI. This week memang not in mood nak makan.
Sebab bila makan, rasa macam telan tak kunyah.

Sila sambung ke next entry untuk tahu the real story...
= )

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Ziqa and her birthday cake


Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to Nurul Haziqah.
Happy birthday to you!
I love you so much dear.

Please don't grow up so fast.

Tuesday, October 03, 2017

Stadium bukit jalil


Stadium Bukit Jalil.
Not gonna share a history tentang nih.
Even kengkadang ada lah selalu biasa lalu-lalu sini. 
Tapi kali ini adalah tentang my first time pergi masuk dalam stadium bukit jalil.
But not so jakun lah.
But sikit jakun why not eh.

Pergi serbu sana untuk close ceremony of Para asean games 2017.
Why ada alasan untuk tidak pergi bila you got yourself a free ticket!
Thanks my friend.
Love you lebih lah.

We go there from Klcc Lrt.
Then, turun kat Masjid Jamek Lrt. Drop jap kat News shop sana sebab nak tapau energy bar.
And some jajan-jajan buat kunyah.
Pastu naik lrt ke Bukit Jalil.
Lalu lah Bandar Tasik Selatan punya Lrt.
Wow, i donno that!

Sampai sana, get a ticket from my kawan.
Grab some foods untuk anak dia. 
And carik seat, enjoy the moments jap before Maghrib.

Anyway, untuk kejar maghrib. Better bawak telekung sendirik.
Like me! Hehhehe...
And sejadah kecik. Nih tak bawak.
For sure, bit panas inside, sebab small space.
Pastu semua pentingkan diri. Ignore lah bila kepala kena langkah ke pijak ker kan. Camtulah.
Patut kena selamba banyak. Solat jee kat luar.

Great moments by the way. Memang so inspirational betul diorang punya iklan and semangat.
Rasa nak bagi sorang-sorang a big hug.
You all are awesome! Jangan lupakan itu.
Kejayaan hasil titik peluh jatuh bangun sendirik. Boleh bawak nangis tau. \
Yang nih boleh copy and paste.
There are truly passionate to their dreams.

And we also got Yuna in da house. Yo!
At first, layan je, even semua lagu homputih dia tak adolah den kenal. Hhahahhah...
Hape-hape jer kan perangai.
Lagu malay dia, terukir di bintang satu tu jer tahunya.
Joget-joget lambak la dengan my friend atas kerusi situ.
Goyang bahu kiri ke kanan, tangan ke atas, senyum sengsorang. 
Pastu gelak atas kelarian lirik.
Huhuhuuu. Biasa nih semua.

I enjoyed. And i'm happy. 
Masa time nak cabut around 10 pm. Betul-betul kat luar stadium. Ada fireworks.
Yang banyak.
So, memang right time.
Then, dalam masa yang asama , berlari ke LRT.
Sebab besoknya kena bangun pukul empat pagi untuk volunteer program kat Klcc. 

Then sampai kat Ampang Park LRT malam tuh,
Rupanya my friend salah beli token.
Ke ampang sana.
Whatever. On uber apps please.

Monday, October 02, 2017

Perangai mereka


I donno apa masalah yang melanda in my department right now. 
Something not right, duh.
Me yang memang try the best, tak suka buat problema pun kena sound dua tiga kali sehari.
My colleague datang, ada tanya soalan. 
Are you happy working here?
... soalan membunuh apakah ini... 

Adakah ini masanya untuk move on with your work?
Is it?

So, membuatkan nak pergi kerja pon rasa cam tak excited dah cam dulu.
Macam myself, my family jauh kat Johor.
Then, this place yang i called so colleagues or friends adalah i treat as a family member.
Sebab boleh dikatakan everyday kena ngadap muka diorang.
Take care each others lah.
Bila perangai sorang-sorang pon cam cipan.
Nak built a family feeling pon fikir dua tiga kali.

As kerja teamwork kita memang lah kena ada tolak ansur.
Sometimes kawan kita punya kerja tak perfect mana, untuk kita yg memang super perfect.
Apa salahnya buat untuk dia. On behalf.
Or kalau malas, tegur lah cara baik.
Cara kawan-kawan.
Bukan cara stranger to stronger.
Ayat buat nak gaduh bertumbuk.
Sarcastic penuh.

Sebab apa yang keluar daripada mulut kita melambangkan penampilan sebenar kita.
Pedih tahu tak.
Bila kena kat someone yang sentitip like me.
I just fikir positif untuk dia.
Forgiveness is the best.

Maybe she had a bad week.
I donno.
Sebab after few discussion dengan kengkawan lain.
I thought she hate me.
But rupanya, diorang pon kena sound sama.
So, yeah. Perempuan.
Hormone imbalance. 
Not gonna fight with it.

Sepatutnya she as a older one. Tak patut terikut dengan perasaan.
Nak cakap benda ni semua pon. Semua dah besar, matured enough.
Ada anak bini laki. Than us some yang masih single.
Mesti management korang more A+++ for sure. Tapi nampaknya vise versa.
Geleng kepala jela.

Pastu sekli lagi, ayat-ayat sarcastic tolonglah dilupuskan. Tak elok kot nak dengar.
Tak puas hati, cakap.
Nak gaduh nak lepas geram face to face.
Biar settle semuanya.
Biar tak adalah sesi ngumpat umpatan di balik tiang yang mengumpul dosa.

I pray everything will go back to normal.
As a happy colleagues.
No backstab.
No fight.
No masam muka.
Help each other.
Support and respect!

= )